Seven Letter Words
Drained.
I stare at that word written on this blog. Left alone…no words follow, it’s the only way for me to emphasize the intensity of such a weak word. I study it’s letters and question how each letter forms into how i feel.
Drained.
What the fuck does it mean? Well i’ll tell you. Behind those 7 letters…behind that emotion…lie a million others.
Drained.
A gradual outflow or loss; consumption or depletion. Something that causes a gradual loss. emptied or exhausted . very tired. drained of electric charge; discharged. To deplete gradually, especially to the point of complete exhaustion. To fatigue or spend emotionally or physically.
Drained.
Of everything and anything that ever exsited within me physically and emotionally.
Drained.
Every word that ever escaped my lips. Lost somewhere in translation…from my mind and out my shapeless mouth. Once full…with ideas and heartfilled emotions i loved to speak of.
Drained.
Because of all the devestation. From trying to stand after the million times they have broke my knees. From the numerous times they kicked me when i was down. From the many times my tears ran dry. From all the times i try to express myself and no one listened genuinely. I have fucking tired myself out. Tired myself out from my type A personality so overbearing and obnoxious i can barely stand myself. Filled with intesity and a passion for everything. Everything overexaggerated bursting out of any openening whether it be my mouth or my ass. Passionate about living and life itself and trying to live the life i have. My passion for anything or anyone about anything and everything has drained me.
Passion.
A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger. Ardent love. Strong sexual desire; lust. The object of such love or desire. Boundless enthusiasm.the trait of being intensely emotional. something that is desired intensely. an irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action. A feeling of strong sexual desire.
Passion.
A word that makes up my strongest characteristic in which i thought was my best. Has resulted in making me feel the lowest of lows. If i could take it all back, would i? No for i feel so god damn fucking passionate about the word passion. Im crazy….oh god i must be.
Passion.
Runs through all my veins and weighs on my mind constantly. It is what i live for. It is how i live. It is why I live… my life. It is what makes my fingers run rampant across this keyboard as if every word across this page would be my last. It’s what i look for….but simply cannot find AGAIN. This makes me unhappy.
Unhappy.
Hah…it looks so happy with a huge capital U in front of it. Is it fucking mocking me? It screams U are NOT fucking happy. Yep…U…on the other side of the screen bitch! Is that what its telling me?
Unhappy.
Sad; miserable; wretched. unfortunate; unlucky. unfavorable; inauspicious. infelicitous; unsuitable. Not satisfied; displeased or discontented. Not suitable; inappropriate. Not attended by or bringing good fortune.
Unhappy.
Just cause. Just fucking cause. Can’t really think of a legitamate reason why. Maybe because im lonely. Lonely…a 6 letter word….because its missing something. Its missing me. and if you feel lonely too..its missing you. Because i feel i am no longer here.
As for the 4 letter words??
i “HATE” being DRAINED. But i “LOVE” feeling any emotion at this point, even one so empty and its all because of my PASSION. For anything and everything. I wish i could be so strong as to just say “FUCK” it all! But that wouldn’t solve my problems…i’d still be UNHAPPY.
So where does that leave us? With a bunch o’ fucking words, making up god damn sentences. So instead of reading each fucking word…read between the fucking lines.
